Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
