Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
