i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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