Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
