My room smells like vodka and shame
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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