Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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