We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
