we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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