i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
