Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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