My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
