ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
