The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
two words: eviction party
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
