mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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