I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
