Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
