I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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