i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
