so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
