Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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