just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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