The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
