i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
