So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
