I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
