omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
