i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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