I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
