i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I need water and some morals
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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