Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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