you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Vodka?
Forever.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
