Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
