I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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