Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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