Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
