I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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