I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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