guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
