Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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