turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize
