When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
