Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
