I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
