I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
