You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
