We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
