omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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