now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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