Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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