Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
