Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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